I have underfloor cooling. This would be good if I lived in downtown Sahara Desert, but it isn’t so good in the rolling flatness that is Essexshire. Gently undulating at between 10m and 10.2m above sea level, Essex is an ideal place to catch a chill. Although it is pretty dry, which means one is confronted with lots of nothing-happening-here cloud, not rain, nuffin.

Well sometimes it rains like Bangkok in monsoon season, rivers of er water cascading the Hill of the North, filling the town’s rivers to their brim.

Would like some underfloor heating now, I can tell you. The winter time is a season to spend indoors, away from the darkness and the cold.