What are these? These are little loans that are guaranteed by someone else. That other person, as you may have guessed, needs to have an exemplary credit rating. If they do, then they can risk everything for you and your stupid Lego house; in this case, me and my stupid Lego house.

And they did. It was my great uncle Stavros from Istanbul; he’s made his money trading coloured silks, shipping them in from Mesopotamia. Anyway, he said he would be my guarantor, as he really liked Lego.

Turns out I never managed to make any repayments and old Uncle Stavros had to foot the bill. Unfortunately, I had signed an agreement with Stavros saying that if i defaulted I would still have to pay him back over time.

So my Lego house (yeah I did build it, yes it was shit) was repossessed by bailiffs – turned out dismantling a Lego door isn’t breaking and entering.