Corporate Events For Bailiffs

Craig — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:56:55 +0000

Imagine what it would be like at a bailiff’s convention. Corporate events such as this would be a sight to behold. You’d have hundreds of men in one place who, in a civilised society, couldn’t find any positions as homicidal maniacs – and so became the next best thing, a bailiff.

Imagine if a particular bailiff’s convention took place in a vast country mansion. Those bailiffs would be thinking to themselves “ha ha, they actually invited us in!” That, of course, is the first mistake that anyone can make when they see a bailiff. Those lads would certainly be confused as the door swung open, greeted by a waiter carrying a tray of Champagne glasses. All the black-clad bailiffs would then jam their feet in the doorway expectantly, just in case the waiter tried to close the door.

Some of the bailiffs would try and remind others that they were off duty, pointing out the canopés and free drinks presented to them. But problems would arise, as they stalked through the palatial premises, when they catch sight of the 56 inch TV that hadn’t been nailed to the wall; several of them would cart that off without a second thought.

The more clued up among them would gather round chatting, trying to keep their eagle eyes of the 18^th Century artwork. The waiters would insist on serving the bailiffs vol au vants and caviar; and as a reflex action, the bailiffs would serve the waiters, quite rudely, with a series of County Court Judgements.

One or two might notice an open window in the drawing room, and, forgetting that they were already inside the building, would dive out of it, landing heavily in the beautifully landscaped gardens outside, eyeing up the gardener’s expensive-looking wheel barrow. A most unusual corporate event.

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Corporate Events For Bailiffs