Scots Introduce Egg And Flour Ban

With the highest incidence of genius in the world, it is unsurprising that police in Scotland have decided to ban egg and flour to prevent a repeat of last year’s egg-and-flour rampage conducted by youths in towns such as Hawick, Kelso and Moffat.

Some people, however, have said that the authorities should focus their attention on the deeper problem of 14 year olds being able to obtain vast quantities of Buckfast Wine with astonishing ease. Without the Devonian tonic wine, experts say, the youths would be much less inspired to pelt pensioners with egg before topping them off comically with flour.

Local shopkeepers have been asked by police, voluntarily, not to sell eggs and flour to youths. Many of them have agreed, but critics are suggesting they should have asked them to voluntarily not sell them potent booze.