28
2008
The Balls On This Dog!
In India today, a dog named Chhotu has been summoned to court for allegedly breaching the peace. The rowdy canine set the cat amongst the pigeons by repeatedly biting his neighbours. According to the dog’s owner the neighbours are actually burglars after her land deeds and Chhotu was merely protecting the family home.
The Indian police department have come under some criticism from the public due to there being over 20 separate bomb blasts across the country two days ago and their response was to scour the Eastern state of Bihar with a large net and a squeaky, plastic dog toy. Some questions have been asked of the prioritising framework in place in Biharian law enforcement to which one source replied, “He is a very bad dog!”
21
2008
Make Your Own Hitler Doll
Mein Gott! What will they think of next? Just as you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it just did! A designer of… whatever you call people who design knitted dolls, I can’t actually think of a name for that job description, but anyway. A designer somehow thought that designing and knitting a Hitler Doll was a good idea. I mean come on how stupid can you get? Selling a knit-your-own-fascist template really has to be the worst idea since Prince Harry arrived at that fancy dress party in a Nazi uniform.
15
2008
Top 5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Women
We’ve all said the wrong thing at the worst possible time to our wives and girlfriends haven’t we? I mean it happens to the best of us at one point or another throughout our lives. I mean I’m only 18 and I could consider myself a bit of an expert at putting my foot into it when it comes to women.
OK so throughout my short experience I have decided to note down my top 5 big No No’s of what NOT to say to your missus. Ascending from bad to worse lets kick off at number 1.
15
2008
Babies Sold on Ebay
People will sell anything on ebay. An Australian man recent sold his entire life on the internet auction site. The lot included his house, his possessions and a trial period in his job. One of the more shocking commodities that you can buy are babies. It has long been a problem in China where the single child policy has meant there are a large number of surplus children. This has lead to a number of babies being placed on the Chinese ebay.
15
2008
Flirty at 9.30
Flirty at 9.30 is the best thing since sliced bread in my opinion. Its the part of the breakfast show on Gold FM where you can ring into the station and ask James Cannon to ask someone you fancy out on a date. But wait, there is a twist (Isn’t there always?), if they turn you down they get a £100 and you get nothing!
09
2008
The Man Who Would Be Mum
So it’s begun. A man has given birth to a baby. June 29th saw the birth of the first ever child born to a man. That is if we discount Arnold Swarzenegger’s efforts in the 1994 Hollywood film Junior. This particular immaculate conception has grasped the attention of the world’s media with a bidding war for the first photos of the child peaking at a whopping £250,000. The child’s father (or is it mother?) appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show months before the birth and told the crowd that “it’s not a male or female desire to have a child it’s a human need” echoing Swarzenegger’s outcry in Junior; “My body my choice”.
