15
2008
Olympic Fakery
Shadows were cast over the magnificent spectacle that was the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic games by deceitful Chinese organisers. After an extensive investigation it was uncovered that the young girl was in fact miming. That’s right, not only do China have one of the worst human rights records ever but now they are just fibbing. Forget Tibet, you can keep it, but no more little girls miming in front of 2 billion people! It is alleged that for punishment for being caught the young girl is being sent to the Neverland ranch for private mime lessons from Michael Jackson.
It is alleged that the switch was made because the young girl did not fit the Chinese image. How dare they! Imagine selecting someone based on how they look, that is just mean. It would never happen here, I mean it is not as if every manipulation of light forces ideal physical specimens down your throat until you feel completely inadequate. There has recently been another high profile case in the UK of suspected miming.
Due to ilness on the set of one of the UK’s top soap operas, Pat Butcher has been replaced by the Thing from fantastic four. No-one seems to have noticed much but one source claims she says, “It’s clobber time!” much more than she used to.
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