Juche Girl: Possibly The Funniest Blog In The World?
Tell me I’m not allowed to know something, and I want to know it NOW, which is perhaps why I’ve long been fascinated (borderline obsessed) with North Korea and its Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il.
Shrouded in secrecy, the platform-shoe-wearing bouffant-haired old alcoholic would have you believe that a double rainbow and bright star graced the sky to mark his birth.
Oh, and he’s credited with writing fantastic operas and basically being the best person in the world at everything.
But funnier than any propaganda spun from Pyongyang is the brilliant blog by ‘Juche Girl’ which, devastatingly, I’ve only just discovered (http://juchegirl.blogspot.com).
At first, I assumed the blog was a parody of the kind of mind control that goes on in the secretive state. It’s hard to figure out if this is the case, or if the mystery ‘Juche Girl’ is some attempt by the DPRK to incite hate against the West.
Whatever it is, it’s brilliant for its sheer uncouth unsophistication.
Posts are mostly structured around Juche Girl’s somewhat incestuous interactions with her brother, and between gushings about Kim Jong Il’s good looks, (‘The Dear Leader is so handsome!’) she comes out with some brilliant comedy posts…
The devastatingly handsome Kim Jong Il
“My brother who is very smart show me picture of Bush who pick up handicap people in wheelchair and toss them on the ground for laughing like maniac with the vampire Cheney,” Juche Girl advises earnestly.
And…
“My brother who is very smart praised me with a hug but he made warning to me that in US people are so poor that they can’t have children of their own and they drown all the new babies all the time.”
And my personal succinct-and-to-the-point favourite: “Bush is criminal ugly monster who eat little cats and world children eardrums.”
I’m sorry, world children eardrums?
Now, I’m sure that the West’s insistence that the Dear Leader is involved in all manner of atrocities, from kidnap to international terrorism, have some kind of founding.
I’m even surer that Bush in his time has also done his fair share of wrong to ignite hate from the rest of the world… but surely not even a war mongering right-wing fantasist eats eardrums?
