Daily Archives: July 27, 2009
The Your Life team are back in…
The Your Life team are back in the office to fill your week with all the latest news and gossip with the usual Your Life twist!
Gandhi: Joanna Lumley Is NOT My Daughter
Mahatma Gandhi has spoken out against claims from Joanna Lumley that she is spiritual leader’s long lost love child. Lumley’s marketing team have apparently been perpetuating this idea, described as ‘mythical’ by Gandhi’s publicity agent, Max Clifford.
The news of the alleged fathering comes as TV screens around the world are awash with Lumley being surrounded by thankful Ghurkha’s who’ve won the right to worship Joanna Lumley for eternity. Amid scenes of union flags and Joanna Lumley banners, one enamoured Ghurkha said “we totally love the fact that we can worship Joanna Lumley,” according to Joanna Lumley’s marketing team.
Joanna Lumley recently flew to Nepal to be worshipped, and in a brief interview with the BBC she said; “I’m so glad that Ghurkha’s can worship me forever now, I think my father would be totally proud of what I’ve achieved here. I just wish he could have been here to see this.”
Shouting angrily from beyond the grave, Gandhi said “his is total bulls**t, I can’t believe that f****** woman has f****** hijacked my good name. I used to enjoy her in Absolutely Fabulous, but now I realise she is Absolutely F****** Atrocious – I did not have relations with that F****** woman’s mother.
In a statement Max Clifford said “we’re still waiting for the tests to come back from the lab, but we’re all pretty sure there’s no truth in these claims – mainly because Gandhi lived in India, was celibate all his life and died in in 1948, while Lumley was born – oh hang on – In er India, in 1946 – oh wait, well, that’s purely circumstantial… I mean come on guys…..”
Lumley’s autobiography “Gandhi is My Daddy” published by Total Bulls**t Books, is out in hardback on Monday, priced £9.99.
