Monthly Archives: June 2009
Economic Update
The hum of low gear economic activity vibrates gently through the streets of England, despite our collective challenges. It doesn’t really look any different; the world continues on its steady course, McDonalds still offers cut price cooked chicken patties and Costa still flogs coffee by the bucket load.
Uninformed ram-raiders may occasionally smash through the dusty windows of Woollies, only to peer through their windscreens in disbelief at the empty shelves. Angered by the vacant Pic ‘N’ Mix trays, they may try driving through the front window of Zavvi too; but alas there’s nothing of worth to be found there either.
Armed only with an abandoned cardboard cut out of the Lost cast, the decanted ram raider will be hard pushed to find a buyer, despite the charms of Evangeline Lilly. No one, we’re told, has the cash.
Yet the worst economic crisis of recent times doesn’t, on the whole, seem that bad. Britain still has Talent, Big Brother is still watching, though who’s watching it is more of a mystery. In the pleasant dry heat of a June day, the worst downturn in living memory doesn’t look that memorable.
The streets still bear the fruits of the Kebab House elite, digested and not. Saturday’s oh-just-this-once frivolities are still affordable, as is the cleanup effort on Sunday morning. The British just don’t want to stop buying, at least not when it comes to lager and late night treats.
And after all, we’re following the lead from the Mother of Parliaments. If our hard working representatives can’t do without properly heated swimming pools – why should we do without our weekly visit to the depths of a Wetherspoon’s lavatory bowl?
Gay Penguins Adopt
Gay rights campaigners in Germany are celebrating as a couple of gay penguins have hatched and reared a chick that is now four weeks old. ‘Z’ and ‘Vielpunkt’ are the names of the two spheniscidae homosexuals who reside in a zoo in Bremerhaven in Germany which is apparantly, very tasteful.
The saga began in 2005 when three pairs of penguins were alledged to be trying to mate together and trying to hatch stones. The controversy came when the zoo tried to ship four females in to test the homosexuality of the penguins, provoking the anger of gay rights activists.
They believed that the penguins should not be interferred with. Although a sceptic would state that if there were no females in the enclosure, then keeping six male pengiuns banged up together for years might have instigated the initial six-in-a-tank, same sex romp.
Apparantly the couple are settling in happily, ‘just as a hetro couple would’ states the keeper, however it doesn’t take Charles Darwin to observe that if this culture in penguins continues there will be serious problems for the spheniscidae species.
However, you have to admit that the story is endearing, heart warming and above all, funny. Professor West of Oxford University even got in on the action, stating that various species display homosexual behaviour for various different reasons.
In certain bird species females will come together to hatch eggs and rear young, whilst bonobo chimps do it out of an act of social dominance. Hmmm, where have I heard that before? Oh that’s right… in prison.
Somehow Penguins bring a certain class to it, perhaps because they are not flinging faeces at each other in between coitus or their natural chic ensemble of black and white. I raise a glass to ‘Z’ and ‘Vielpunkt’ and wish them all the luck in the future.
And The Techie Giants Just Get Bigger And Bigger!
The Backyardigans, a soundtrack music band, once had a song entitled ‘Nobody’s Bigger Than A Giant’, but what if two giants come together to form something evermore spectacular? I am of course referring the two giants that are Google and BBC, who are in considering the possibility of a new international version of the BBC iPlayer. Currently this is supported by YouTube (a Google owned video sharing platform), with the UK having access to the iPlayer programme.
The Telegraph had announced this news in respect to the discussion over producing something that would allow people from any region in the world to watch any BBC content in full rather than in short bursts. Sources close to the BBC’s director general Mark Thompson have been informed about their plan of launching the new video streaming programme, opening up a much wider audience.
The current BBC iPlayer is popular amongst UK users and was once a top Google search term back in 2008. This allowed for viewers to stream content up to seven days after they were first broadcasted on television. Users are also able to access BBC programmes via YouTube, however much to the rest of the World’s dismay these are only available in small clips rather than in its full length version. The international iPlayer is set to allow viewers outside of the UK, the luxury of watching full-length versions of BBC content via YouTube.
Online video streaming is very convenient for the busy hardworking individuals who never get a chance to watch their favourite programmes. Telly-addicts are given the chance to catch up on their favourite programmes on their laptop or PC, should they ever be pulled away from their comfy couch and living room area. Some people, who simply cannot miss their favourite programmes for fear of leaving an eerie void in their lives, can now have a backup plan in which the void can be filled with the help of Google!
One obstacle that the BBC faces is the issue of gaining international rights clearance, which is will hold back any final decisions that the broadcasting giant make. It is just a matter of time then, before the world becomes hooked on programmes such as Eastenders and Casualty!
