Category Archives: Good
A Modern Day Marxist
Nothing riles my inner Socialist like banks. Bank charges; bank loans; banks getting it wrong and messing up the economy.
And there’s nothing like a full-blown recession to kick-start a blame campaign. There are 2.47 million people out of work right now. The greedy, nasty banks got us all into this.
Piggy bank: the only kind of bank it's acceptable to like these days
But surfing the tide of bank hatred with a halo and wings is the heroic Martin Lewis of moneysaving expert fame.
He’s inspired a nation to call the bluff of the banks. “Just don’t pay them.” he advises on unlawful bank fees, between imparting reams of knowledge and turning stereotypes on their heads. This one, which he said to the Guardian, is a corker: “My hope is that, in a year, if a man doesn’t pay with a restaurant voucher on a first date, she won’t go with him again because she’d think he wasn’t safe enough handling money,” Brilliant.
Consumer champion or tightest man in Britain (as sweet old Phil Schofield once introduced him as), he should be in charge of the country, not just his website.
I think he might just be Karl Marx reincarnated.
He called Lewis tight: easy to do when you earn a six-figure salary yourself
An Idea A Day
I can’t believe I’ve only just this week discovered, thanks to my mate Bob, the brilliant website idea-a-day.com. The archives of unbelievably logical ideas allowed me to while away the first half hour of in the office this morning with ease.
Being generally behind the times myself, I’m going to assume that everyone knows the premise of the site: the website publishes one original idea a day and, if you should so wish, you can have this idea delivered to your inbox each morning.
“Place hand detergent dispensers at the exit of all stores to help reduce the spread of germs and other harmful bacteria,” is the most recent offering. The door handle-dodging obsessive compulsive within me leaps with joy at this one. Yes please! No more holding tissue around the handle to leave the building, or the lavatory… you do that too, right?!
In total contrast: “Design camping plates with layers of biodegradable film that can be peeled off to reveal a clean surface each time,” is brilliant! But all everyday plates too, surely?
My favourite, though, has to be the Freemason-esque invention, ‘Respecs’ sunglasses, which pledges to polarise lenses of sunglasses in opposite directions. While this would not be detrimental to the wearer’s vision, it would be impossible for two wearers of the glasses to make eye contact with each other, thus resulting in an “impromptu wink or secret acknowledgement between devotees of the glasses.” Genius!
Bit rubbish at night time or winter, though.
Recreating War Situations With Toys
War. Not terribly nice if you get stuck in one, but as a kid growing up watching epic war films, it was absolutely the best entertainment available.
The problem as a 9 year old for me was clear. How to reproduce a parachute drop into enemy territory on a massive, massive scale. The thing is that most 9 years olds do not have access to the several thousand troops required for such an invasion.
Lego tended not to focus on the modern aspect of war and death, preferring to focus on the medieval torture theme. Those little plastic moulded soldiers were pretty good for reproducing accurate looking militaria, but again – there simply wasn’t enough of them. Childrens toys just didn’t lend themselves to mass airborne incursions, as detailed in films such as A Bridge Too Far (1977).
Then I discovered paper. It was the obvious option for a parachute drop. I simply cut A4 sheets into tiny half-inch squares, and gave each one a coloured cross to represent the goodies (Allies) or the baddies (obviously Germans). This resulted (after a lot of work) in the ability to field thousands of troops onto a carpet situation, where countless Nazis were waiting.
The best bit, and really the aim of all that work, was to grab a handful of paratroopers and then drop them, each one spinning and fluttering slowly to the floor. You could also have ‘real casualties’; where Lego men had to be recycled, paper ones were totally expendable.
While the parachute drop was regarded as a total success by myself, certain mothers took a dimmer view of my colossal paper-based invasion activities.
Sadly, most of the troops perished in the Hoover.
Is Google Casting A Dark Shadow Over Bing?
Ever seen a search engine on caffeine? Well you have now! Google has now opened the new updated search engine aptly nicknamed ‘Caffeine’ because it quite literally is an improved and faster version of itself. Are the imminent changes of the search engine giant as a result of recent competitions from Facebook, Twitter, Bing etc? Google officials have stated that it is not and is a move to improve the service that they provide.
In fact Larry Page founder of Google has stated in his blog “I love competition in search and want lots of it, but this change has been in the works for months…”. Straight from the horse’s mouth, competition is welcomed by Google meaning that they are confident that Caffeine will see a successful take off. So what is it about Caffeine that justifies their confidence?
The changes being made to Google will probably go unnoticed on the surface by users, however the backend of Google are seeing radical changes that include of course doubling the speed of producing search results, introducing real time results, real time news feeds and ‘vertical specific searches’. It is no wonder that it has been reported to cast a hefty shade over Bing, which was launched by Microsoft (tied in with Yahoo) originally as an alternative to what users are already satisfied with. Bing certainly made a bold move to try their hand at taking on Google as Google still remains the dominant search engine, boasting an impressive 87% of UK users alone in 2008.
Recent months did see Google face some tough competition such as that from Wolfram Alpha, a knowledge based search engine, and a newer version of Ask Jeeves. Facebook have also jumped onto the search engine market acquiring FriendFeed which is highly regarded for its real time search engine. This was followed by a statement by Larry Page admitting to them falling behind on other services such as Twitter, which had seen a whopping 45 million users all over the world.
Nonetheless despite the rising number of promising competitors, Google have said that they will continue to work as normal, constantly working on making improvements and pushing their search quality forward. The new improvements, as mentioned above, may not be noticed by users as the pages will look the same but there are changes to its algorithms that include up-to-date news stories, fresh new content at the top of the search results and faster page loads. Custom PC magazine editor stated that Google “it is now doing things that would never be possible a few years ago and knowing Google, this would have been in the works for some time.”
Wales Gets Trains
Ok, they’ve had them for a while – although it might surprise some. The big news today is that the government is going to spend 1 billion pounds on electrifying the railway line between Swansea and London.
According to a guy called Lord Adonis (cool name, but the man himself is arguably the anti Lord Adonis): “With the electric trains you get a quieter, cleaner, more reliable and much cheaper train which benefits passengers and it also benefits the taxpayers because it’s much cheaper to keep an electric railway going”.
The news will be exciting for people who like trains. It is generally accepted that the British really need to move from road to rail – but some might argue how it can reasonably be achieved when the cost of travelling on the train system is comparable to that of using a car. When private companies run these systems it might be argued that the focus is on short term profit rather than long term advances in public transport.
Can private enterprise really bring about the technological improvements required to give Britain the sophisticated transport system is needs? If you look at al the big developments in transport, they are catalysed by government. The tilting train that graces so many of our train lines was actually an invention of the then state-owned British Rail. Margaret Thatcher took the decision to scrap BR’s attempts to develop the tilting train – and forced it sell the concept to an Italian firm.
Now the Italians, having perfected the tilting system, are essentially selling us back our own invention. The point is that only large scale state funding can really advance transport. Would Concorde have ever existed if it wasn’t backed up by the British and French governments?
Nissan Gives North East Economy a Jolt
With 2000 jobs at risk at Corus’s Redcar steel plant, the North East of England really needed some good news. And today they’ve got it, with Nissan’s announcement that they plan to manufacture electric car batteries at their Wearside factory – expected to generate some 350 new jobs.
The government and the people of the north east will be hoping this cements Britain’s long term position as a hybrid car manufacturing base. The Lithium-ion batteries will power a new generation of Nissan cars, and it is hoped that the news will clear the way for full-scale production of these new models in Sunderland. There has been stiff competition from other plants across Europe.
It is thought that many more jobs will be created in related industries. Lord Mandelson visited the plant with the Prime Minister, and said the north east would be established as a “low carbon economic area”.
The news comes soon after Toyota announced it was to build its new Auris Hybrid petrol-electric car at Burnaston in Derbyshire. These two news items are likely to give a little hope – considering manufacturing is often the first to go in a recession.
Nissan has ear marked 200 million pounds for the battery making plans, to be spread out over 5 years.
And The Techie Giants Just Get Bigger And Bigger!
The Backyardigans, a soundtrack music band, once had a song entitled ‘Nobody’s Bigger Than A Giant’, but what if two giants come together to form something evermore spectacular? I am of course referring the two giants that are Google and BBC, who are in considering the possibility of a new international version of the BBC iPlayer. Currently this is supported by YouTube (a Google owned video sharing platform), with the UK having access to the iPlayer programme.
The Telegraph had announced this news in respect to the discussion over producing something that would allow people from any region in the world to watch any BBC content in full rather than in short bursts. Sources close to the BBC’s director general Mark Thompson have been informed about their plan of launching the new video streaming programme, opening up a much wider audience.
The current BBC iPlayer is popular amongst UK users and was once a top Google search term back in 2008. This allowed for viewers to stream content up to seven days after they were first broadcasted on television. Users are also able to access BBC programmes via YouTube, however much to the rest of the World’s dismay these are only available in small clips rather than in its full length version. The international iPlayer is set to allow viewers outside of the UK, the luxury of watching full-length versions of BBC content via YouTube.
Online video streaming is very convenient for the busy hardworking individuals who never get a chance to watch their favourite programmes. Telly-addicts are given the chance to catch up on their favourite programmes on their laptop or PC, should they ever be pulled away from their comfy couch and living room area. Some people, who simply cannot miss their favourite programmes for fear of leaving an eerie void in their lives, can now have a backup plan in which the void can be filled with the help of Google!
One obstacle that the BBC faces is the issue of gaining international rights clearance, which is will hold back any final decisions that the broadcasting giant make. It is just a matter of time then, before the world becomes hooked on programmes such as Eastenders and Casualty!
World Beard and Moustache Championships – need I say more?
Hurry!!! There are only 719 days left to go before the next World Beard and Moustache Championships. I can hear the cires of anguish echoing around the empty… beard halls, or wherever these sort of events are held; “Why so long! I need my fill of hefty beard action! Other generic beard yearning related comments…”
That is mainly because the WBMC was recently held in Anchorage, Alaska with some rather interesting consequences. One of the highlights being when judge Frank Gershman mixed up an entry, forcing a partial beard unsnooded into the full beard catagory! Oh, BTW – I just made that up, because there were no highlights!
Imagine a room with the most banal, tankard-swilling, jig-dancing, wannabe-19th-century-prospectors and now throw in the fact that they have travelled across the globe to judge each others facial hair. Here are some of the contestants:
These contestants are Austrian and German respectively and it is worth mentioning that the Austrian snapped up the first place, Chin and Cheek Beard Freestyle title in the 2004 German international championships; mainly just to draw attention to the fact someone actually created that classification.
The controversy surrounding this years results was that the Germans were knocked off their lofty beard pedestal by the USA, the US raking in 10 world beard champions. This has been caused for much frivolity and back-slapping stateside through Beard Team USA. That’s right… Beard Team USA.
Beard Team USA are an official organisation with a following across the US and even their own website. However they don’t have the same distinguished delusional air as their European brothers in face-pubes and many look like they should be on a website of a different sort, probably one dealing with listings for registered sex offenders – although this is purely speculative.
I certainly wouldn’t wish to incur the wrath of Beard Team USA only to wake up one morning being strategically shaved by a gaggle of wispy faced lunatics screaching, “He has no beard and therefore we are the winners!” Or something equally deranged.
The overall champion was named as David ‘Beard-Face’ Traver having styled his beard to resemble an Alaska snowshoe.
As we can see the beard is of epic proportions and is in fact styled like a snow shoe. There were protestations from the Eurotrash beard-havers, stating that due to the competition being hosted on US soil, there was a certain amount of favouratism in the judging.
Look out! The BRITS are coming
The BRIT Awards are imminent and once again the nominations have got music fans and newspaper columnists across the country arguing about the nominees and putting forward alternative suggestions. I don’t really care for the BRITS much, Robbie Williams has won the most with 15 to his name and that tells you all you need to know about the ‘quality’ of the awards, but being a music fan I always take a look at who’s in the frame if only to see what the national musical zeitgeist looks like.
This year has thrown up some intriguing battles and a few interesting new developments. In years gone by you could pretty much predict who would be in the frame for best female vocalist, Kate Bush was always named and Annie Lennox didn’t even have to make a record, making the bed in the morning seemed to be enough to get her a nomination, but this year both are missing from the list as a new wave of young female Brits led by Duffy and MIA battle it out for the title.
Other notable absentees include Sting, Mick Hucknall and Phil Collins. I’d like to imagine they are going to be spending the evening watching the show on a plasma screen in one of Phil’s many tax havens, crying into their fine wines, unable to understand why the kids are listening to Mike Skinnner’s Brummie tinged blend of pop, rock and rap and not Sting’s lute playing? To paraphrase Louis Armstrong, if you have to ask why, you’ll never know.
There’s always confusion when it comes to best group, with rock, pop and urban awards all being dropped recently leaving simply a Best British Group category. This year the battle has to be between Elbow and Coldplay with the losers probably picking up best live act as a consolation. The BRITS also recognises international acts and the nominees for Best International Group are the strongest in years MGMT should get it but The Killers, Fleet Foxes or Kings of Leon would also be worthy winners.
