Posted in Bad, Uncategorized on 01. Oct, 2009
When I get the insatiable urge to draw nicotine into my bloodstream, as I do quite a few times a day, no other urge can come close; be it hunger, thirst or whatever. And I definitely do not give a damn which brand is emblazoned on the packet which provides the relief.
Posted in Bad on 28. Sep, 2009
What a load of crap left-handed people have had to put up with in the past.
They had it beaten out of them at school back in the day, forced to use their semi-redundant right hands to write. They’ve struggled for years to master right-handed appliances, from scissors to pencil sharpeners, and ploughed on stoically beneath the stigma of this terrible affliction.
Posted in Bad on 11. Sep, 2009
The original ‘How can I show off to my friends?’ website – Facebook – has developed a new, lighter version of itself – in the form of Facebook Lite. Many commentators are saying this has come about as direct competition to Twitter.
The beauty, many say, of Twitter is its simplicity – a polar opposite to the experience of logging on to Facebook and finding that you’ve been poked 12 times, been asked to join the ‘I like Stepping On Dried Leaves’ group and reading a comment by someone you said three words to at school saying that he has bought a brand spanking new Land Rover.
Posted in Bad on 04. Sep, 2009
I found a really boring story about Russell Crowe challenging an Australian journalist to a bike ride. It was so tedious that I just stared at the BBC story for a few minutes, wondering if I would drift into a coma. Luckily for Your Life readers, I didn’t – and now I can spell out just how boring this story was:- “J.U.S.T. H.O.W. B.O.R.I.N.G T.H.I.S. S.T.O.R.Y. W.A.S.”
Posted in Bad on 10. Aug, 2009
Now, I’m a vegetarian, so I shouldn’t be writing this thing I’m about to write about killing wasps. Yeah, they’re really small, but what if I swallowed one and then subsequently my head swelled up to the size of an enraged puffer fish on steroids? Eh? In light of this danger I have drawn up a short list of wasp disposal methods.
Posted in Bad on 07. Aug, 2009
A recent survey carried out by Expedia suggests that the French are the ‘the worst’ holidaymakers, while the Japanese are the best. The survey asked 4,500 hoteliers across Europe what they thought of the behaviour of different nationalities whilst on vacation.
Posted in Bad on 03. Aug, 2009
Our little black garden ant has nothing on these little monsters. The Lasius Neglectus or Asian super ant has descended on Hidcote Manor in Chipping Camden, Gloucestershire, where it poses a significant fire risk.
Posted in Bad on 23. Jul, 2009
The swine flu death toll hit 30. Oh yea Lord above have mercy on our collective ass during this period of vengeful pestilence. Only the penitent man will pass – we have been forsaken and should now crack each other’s heads open and feast off the goo we find within. In case you couldn’t tell – I was being sarcastic.
Just before we start ramming steaks into each other’s hearts and looting churches for large crucifixes perhaps we should look at the real viral pandemic; the scare mongering media and their carcinogenic manipulations.
Posted in Bad on 21. Jul, 2009
As the title might suggest, thinks have got pretty bad for director Michael Mann and lead actor Johnny Depp over their clanger of a blockbuster Public Enemies. During production the two key figures on set were only communicating through a studio exec, as Depp seethed at Mann’s ‘chaotic’ film making style.
Posted in Bad on 17. Jul, 2009
Microsoft’s professional developers conference in Los Angeles saw the unveiling of the eagerly awaited Windows 7 operating system. With a lot of people displaying utter disdain for the previous OS – Vista – it is hoped that Windows 7 will address some of these issues. However, with Microsoft claiming that the system is an ‘evolution’ as opposed to a ‘revolution’, many people are likely to claim that the system will not fix these gripes.
