It has the dual effect of ensuring you never forget that special day, and shows that you really care about the new life and the new life’s family. But choosing an appropriate gift is not always that easy; there are so many of them available. If you look online, you can find a huge array of different presents – from the expensive and meaningful, to the cheaper, more playful gifts that draw smile from mummy, daddy and the child themselves.

The key thing is to take some time to choose a gift that conveys something of your own personality – these are Christening presents that people never forget, and keep safe and sound in their nik-nak cabinets for years to come.

The internet, as always, makes it easy to find a present that conveys your positive wishes for the Christened child – in a way that need not be too expensive, but that will say what you need to say.

If you’re not a registered citizen you can’t get anything – or rather your mum and dad cannot get anything for you. Who’s ever been to school without a name? You see, you need a name to get an education.

But don’t worry, if you’re reading this and you don’t have a name, just make one up for yourself. No one will know. There are so many baby names (grown up names?) available you really are spoilt for choice. There are lots of websites that can help you come up with a good name too. You can even change your name if you don’t like the one you’ve been lumbered with.

Family Members; One of the first option is to name your future child as the same as you or your partner or sometimes yours or your partners parents.  This option that used to be one of the baby names preference, now it is decreasing in the recent decades.

Famous People;  another common option is to pick up baby names from one of the famous characters of your favourite movie, TV series or program, or any celebrity that take the attention of the parents.

Historic Names; Sometimes people just prefer to go through history in search of epic and biblical names that could reflect the personality and character of their future son.

Weird Baby Names; In special cases, parents decide to go for the most weird and unusual baby names ever heard. I am talking about baby names taken from brands, expressions and all sort of strange terms that sometimes appear on magazines or TV.

If you are thinking about different baby names just have in mind how your future son will feel when he grows. Don’t let you go by fashion or trendy names of the moment, just have in mind that when your son will be a grownup, many things that were cool and interesting at that moment they will not be anymore.

But it has to be admitted that some toys develop these skills more rapidly – special awareness can be improved by giving your child a square-peg round-hole style toy, for example. Books can of course help develop reading skills – one of the most important skills of all. Equally, mathematics skills essential for being fully equipped for the future adult life – and there are plenty of electronic devices that can help with this.

But the truth is, any kind of stimulation will help a child learn the educational and social skills they need to progress.

What are these? These are little loans that are guaranteed by someone else. That other person, as you may have guessed, needs to have an exemplary credit rating. If they do, then they can risk everything for you and your stupid Lego house; in this case, me and my stupid Lego house.

And they did. It was my great uncle Stavros from Istanbul; he’s made his money trading coloured silks, shipping them in from Mesopotamia. Anyway, he said he would be my guarantor, as he really liked Lego.

Turns out I never managed to make any repayments and old Uncle Stavros had to foot the bill. Unfortunately, I had signed an agreement with Stavros saying that if i defaulted I would still have to pay him back over time.

So my Lego house (yeah I did build it, yes it was shit) was repossessed by bailiffs – turned out dismantling a Lego door isn’t breaking and entering.

Champagne got a name for itself because of its association with French royalty. Ever since then people have associated the drink with wealth – and so Champagne remains one of the most expensive drinks you can buy. Another reason why it so expensive is that it is generally only made in the Champagne region of France.

But how does it get all fizzy? Surely they couldn’t have carbonated wine way back in the reign of Louis XIV? Right? Wrong! They could! How? They used a process of secondary fermentation that I’m not too familiar with. Anyway, the important point is that they did it, a few hundred years before Mr. Coca J. Cola did it.

So there we are – northern France ain’t so bad after all. Du Pan, Du Vin and of course some unnamed brand of cheese.

Champagne is great, but if you want to combine getting smashed with healthiness – then you would be better advised to go for the red version. Good red wine can help scour your cheese-lined arteries. But if you don’t have any handy, just use Champagne instead.

I found this out when I went to visit him in Whitley Bay (he was visiting his parents – my grandparents – and so was I, that’s why I was there) and he got out of his old green Rover (it’s not green anymore – red) and he was bent double – such was the incident involving the well cover.

As he explained his error around the plates of boiled chicken that his mum had prepared, I suggested he needed to go and see an osteopath. He thought this was a shit idea, being the man of the hills that he was.

Nowadays he’s modified his thoughts on osteopathy, living as he does away from the windy hills and nasty well covers. Now he lives in a nice semi in Edinburgh, with central heating and TV and a nice nearby corner shop selling discount tins of food (because they’re largely out of date). He hasn’t encountered anymore wells and stands straight as a rod.

Now, if I’m not very much mistaken, all the baddies in the Indiana Jones film were nasty Nazis. But what had those Danish weirdos at The Lego Company done? Instead of putting everyone’s favourite facist symbol – the swastika – on the side of the plane, they decided to put CCCP instead. Now, I can understand they don’t really want the symbol of the most evil regime of all time sold to 8 year olds across the world – but what are they suggesting by putting the CCCP on instead?

OK, let’s all take a quick look at the history books (oh, I mean Wikipedia) and yes, we discover that the CCCP was not entirely unconnected to the 2nd biggest act of genocide of all time. Mao Tse-Tung comes first, with the Nazis making third place. In some sets they had the Luftwaffe symbol, while others had just letters. But one definitely had the CCCP.

So in Legoland, Indy battles Nazis, Soviets and random letter empires?

I think Lego should be taking a lead on representing reality to children. You can’t even get more than one Lego man in a saloon car, that’s surely not right?

The middle ground, in this case, is as good if not better than the London, which is jam packed with web design and SEO services. The beauty, some say, of choosing somewhere like Essex for your web design needs is that it is much cheaper than somewhere like London. Additionally, if you live in Essex, which 1.7 million people do, then you would benefit from being more closely located to your web design provider than might otherwise be the case. There is also the argument that you get a more down to Earth service from businesses outside London – something that only experience can confirm.

Even in terms of companies in London itself choosing firms in Essex to do their web design, when you understand that it only takes one hour to get from London to Colchester by train – it becomes less of a problem.

“well I said, I it’s quite modest, not too big at all.”

“Is it a cottage sir?” she asked.

“No, it’s not, it’s a bit smaller than that actually. “

“And what items do you want to cover inside the tent sir?” she asked.

“Well, I’ve got a wind-up radio and torch, and er let me think, well, I’ve got a stove” I said.

“Is that all sir? Are you sure you need to get all that ensured?” she enquired.

“Yes, yes definitely I said”

She continued quizzing me: “Well, ok, going back to the property itself. Is it situated in a bad area, is there much crime around?”

“No, no there’s very little crime around, I said – in fact there isn’t anyone around at all. I don’t think there’s much crime around. You only get cows where I am.”

The girl laughed politely, but looked a little confused.

“How much would you value the property for sir?”

“Well I think it cost around 65 when I bought it.”

She looked a little surprised “65 thousand, sir, that must have been a few years ago?”

“No, I mean it was £65.” I stated.

“Sir, you live in a tent, don’t you?”

“Why yes, what did you think I lived in?”