A Pants Idea That Won’t Change The World
What a load of crap left-handed people have had to put up with in the past.
They had it beaten out of them at school back in the day, forced to use their semi-redundant right hands to write. They’ve struggled for years to master right-handed appliances, from scissors to pencil sharpeners, and ploughed on stoically beneath the stigma of this terrible affliction.
The Devil, yes the DEVIL, that well-known creature who exists only in the imagination along with the bogey man, Santa Claus and world peace, has for thousands of years been associated with the left hand.
What a bummer for all those afflicted/blessed with left-handedness (delete as appropriate as to whether you believe a book written thousands of years ago by no-one-really-knows-who is a valid script to live your life by).
But all of this is now well and truly in the past with the launch of underwear for left handed men, which is being stocked by Debenhams.
I wasn’t even aware there was a problem in this department being A. female and B. right-handed, but apparently, left-handed men, the poor things, have to reach far further into their pants than their right-handed counterparts, and perform a z-shaped manoeuvre through two 180 degree angles before achieving the desired results.
Sounds complex. But apparently, these new pants by Hom will save left handed guys up to three ‘often vital’ seconds when they have a waz, according to Debenhams.
In what possible situation could those three extra seconds saved in the lavatory be VITAL?
Ok, say the average guy has to pee six times a day, and saves three seconds each time thanks to said pants, do these pants offer the opportunity for lefties to utilise accumulated time previously lost to pant manoeuvring? Thanks to these pants, could lefties rule the world?
Oh, they do already. Clinton, Bush and Obama have all managed it on a 126-seconds-a-week deficit. But will they all buy these pants anyway?
Whichever way you look at it, it’s a pants idea (sorry).
Trouser trouble: a fine specimen of a southpaw
