15
2009
Economic Update
The hum of low gear economic activity vibrates gently through the streets of England, despite our collective challenges. It doesn’t really look any different; the world continues on its steady course, McDonalds still offers cut price cooked chicken patties and Costa still flogs coffee by the bucket load.
Uninformed ram-raiders may occasionally smash through the dusty windows of Woollies, only to peer through their windscreens in disbelief at the empty shelves. Angered by the vacant Pic ‘N’ Mix trays, they may try driving through the front window of Zavvi too; but alas there’s nothing of worth to be found there either.
05
2009
Gay Penguins Adopt
Gay rights campaigners in Germany are celebrating as a couple of gay penguins have hatched and reared a chick that is now four weeks old. ‘Z’ and ‘Vielpunkt’ are the names of the two spheniscidae homosexuals who reside in a zoo in Bremerhaven in Germany which is apparantly, very tasteful.
The saga began in 2005 when three pairs of penguins were alledged to be trying to mate together and trying to hatch stones. The controversy came when the zoo tried to ship four females in to test the homosexuality of the penguins, provoking the anger of gay rights activists.
The Backyardigans, a soundtrack music band, once had a song entitled ‘Nobody’s Bigger Than A Giant’, but what if two giants come together to form something evermore spectacular? I am of course referring the two giants that are Google and BBC, who are in considering the possibility of a new international version of the BBC iPlayer. Currently this is supported by YouTube (a Google owned video sharing platform), with the UK having access to the iPlayer programme.
29
2009
Coding Principles for Creative Types
Members of the creative side of web design and search engine optimisation tend to steer clear of ‘coding’, leaving it to people with beards. Creative Types don’t want to waste time entering, presumably, ones and zeros into a website’s code (wherever that is). But as many Creative Types find out sooner or later, it is good to get a basic grounding in coding. What follows is a few of the most important points, enough at least to get you through a drunken conversation with a ‘Coder’.
The Coder and the Creative Type
Hurry!!! There are only 719 days left to go before the next World Beard and Moustache Championships. I can hear the cires of anguish echoing around the empty… beard halls, or wherever these sort of events are held; “Why so long! I need my fill of hefty beard action! Other generic beard yearning related comments…”
That is mainly because the WBMC was recently held in Anchorage, Alaska with some rather interesting consequences. One of the highlights being when judge Frank Gershman mixed up an entry, forcing a partial beard unsnooded into the full beard catagory! Oh, BTW - I just made that up, because there were no highlights!
27
2009
A Real Pain In The Arse
Rome does not have the best track record for hosting football matches and their security services are not shy. They employ a policy of strike first then strike again later instead of asking questions. If you have not had a unit of Italian riot police doing a carefully choreographed ho-down on your skull then you are not a true football fan.
Ouch, my brains!
The greatly anticipated Champions League final between Barcelona and Manchester United is being held in Rome, leading to concerns regarding the behaviour of the police and fans alike.
Huzzah! Pip-pip and a rolicking, trolloping good time for all!
David Cameron is plastered over the news once more pledging to bring power back to the people. Our democratic rights are once more safe in the hands of the true conservatives - well, at least we know where we stand.
With the current cabinet committing mass political suicide, like lemmings dropping off the political cliff-face, it will not be long before the Bullingdon Dining Club have their feet well and truly under the table.
17
2009
Look out! The BRITS are coming
The BRIT Awards are imminent and once again the nominations have got music fans and newspaper columnists across the country arguing about the nominees and putting forward alternative suggestions. I don’t really care for the BRITS much, Robbie Williams has won the most with 15 to his name and that tells you all you need to know about the ‘quality’ of the awards, but being a music fan I always take a look at who’s in the frame if only to see what the national musical zeitgeist looks like.
18
2008
No Cake For Hitler
Having a quick flick through the news this morning, I was astonished to see that complaints have been made by the parents of a toddler to a bakery that has refused to put the child’s name on a birthday cake. The parents of three year-old Adolf Hitler seem to be missing the point I think.
The American couple, from New Jersey, also have a child named Aryan Nation who surprisingly also had to forego the treat of a personalised birthday cake from the politically sensitive bakery at ShopRite. The parents claim that the names of the children have nothing to do with the Nazi regime, and insist that names are just names and their children will obviously grow up to be model citizens.
11
2008
No Smiling On The Terraces
I’m not sure how much more football I can take…no that’s not what I mean. I’m not sure how much more of the ridiculousness surrounding football I can take. At the weekend Arsenal’s Emmanuel Eboue was brought on as a substitute in the game against Wigan only to be substituted himself shortly after. Why? Well he was having what is referred to as ‘a nightmare’, the last act of which was to tackle one of his own players and pass the ball to the opposition.
